This is an extract from Odd Bod Frank Petch’s book, “We Dood it Too”. It is particularly apt to publish here, because it describes the activities of Padre Dave Beyer, who honoured us by becoming the Odd Bods Foundation President in 1954. In the final parts of his book, Frank Petch wrote that on returning to Brighton, England prior to repatriation at the end of the war, he found his way to the Padre’s hallowed sanctum.
“THE next morning at breakfast I learned that the Padre had got hold of some Swiss luminous wristlet watches, and had them for sale. Rumour had it that they were black-market goods, but the Sporting Padre, Squadron Leader Beyer, had too good a reputation for me to go along with that ‘latrine-a-gram’.
I decided that I would endeavour to purchase a watch for my brother Geoff. Knowing that they would be in great demand I decided to get down to the Padre’s office straight after breakfast. Having been in England for well over two years I was used to queues, and knew that “the early bird gets the worm”. I went along a narrow corridor past the offices of Unit Headquarters, and above a small flight of stairs was this notice: Aussie Padre Chaplain David Beyer Barge in - You’re welcome. So this was “Bludgers’ Bower” of which I had heard numerous airmen speak so fondly. It had the atmosphere of a home; that genuine familiarity, the licence to settle down comfortably, the assurance of a friendly greeting and of seeing other friendly faces. All ranks were free just to pop in.
I noticed that “Bludgers’ Bower” comprised three rooms of which the main gathering centre was the largest. Its walls were full of information relating to sports entertainments, special invitations and hospitality. Three side windows overlooked the beach. Padre Beyer was a man of medium stature, with a set, tanned countenance, dark hair greying at the temples, thin lips in a pleasant prelude to a smile, a squarish chin showing determination, alert blue eyes which could show sympathy and sincerity. As I entered his ready greeting was “What can I do for you?” I replied, “I came in relation to the wristlet watches”. He said, “Take a seat; I have a few things to do first before issuing them”.
Cricket appeared to be the first item on the agenda, and the Padre discussed with a Selection Committee of sorts, arrangements for different matches and the composition of teams to play in them. It appeared that amongst the personnel on the station there were many excellent cricketers. All this was done with astonishing speed. Sergeant Tommy Reddick, R.A.F. assistant to the Padre, promised to attend to all the final details for the matches. Tennis and hockey games were arranged with equal efficiency. As this was going on I was examining the surroundings in more detail. On the central desk was a “Lousy Language Box” with a scale of charges as under:- Low cursing - One penny in! Straight Blasphemy - Twopence in! Real Dirt - Threepence in! Contributions made were distributed monthly to some charity.
Correspondence trays were marked “Ignored”, “Nearly attended to”, “It won’t be long now”. It was obvious that the Padre had a sense of humour. On a corner table were magazines, books and writing paper. On the Notice Board was a sign “Have you written home this week?’
Walls were covered with sundry inscriptions: Our Trading Motto: “We Ain’t Got It” No Tipping No cheques or Foreign Money accepted. All the best things in life are free Don’t hang around Don’t bludge on your cobbers - or else! (an arrow pointed to a hangman’s noose dangling in obvious menace)
Another inscription was headed “Indoor Sports Schedule” Monday Two-up Tuesday Crown and Anchor Wednesday Crap Thursday Blackjack (Bank run by staff) Friday Poker Saturday: Put and Take Sunday: Prayer Meeting - collection You can’t win!
Gazing at the group gathered around awaiting the distribution of watches, the Padre announced that “Mrs. Browne spelt with an ‘E’ requests six lovely Australian airmen for a party tonight, to which she is inviting twelve exquisite young ladies. Anyone interested?” There was one reply, “The last time I went there were no girls, only the old bag”.
There were several “takers”, but before the Padre could complete the list of names, two newcomers entered the room. “What can I do for you lads?” “Well sir - where’s the best place to go on leave?” In a business-like manner the Padre replied, “What do you want to do - fish, golf, tennis, riding, boating, climbing, walking in the country or what?” “Are you married - if not, do you like young ladies, if married how many children?” His interrogation took the enquirers by surprise, they had probably been dreaming of a lovely home with a well-stocked cellar and willing daughters. The Padre suggested a visit to Stratford-on-Avon, and when the enquirers looked doubtful, he said, “Why go anywhere, you have everything here?”
Another chap came in and requested that the Padre write to his wife in Australia assuring her that the airman was still very fond of her. “Coming from you she’ll know it’s true” “OK, but write yourself and then she won’t have any doubts”, was the Padre’s response. “Well chaps, I’ll make the distribution”, said the Padre, but was interrupted by the telephone. “Boys, there’s a lady outside in a car, she wants four men for tennis”. A voice from the group said, “What’s she like, a blonde or a brunette?” Tommy Reddick came away from the window and replied, “A brunette”.
“I’m only interested in blondes”, said the navigator. “Maybe she has a sister or girl friend or something”, replied an air gunner. “Anyway she’s got a car. What more do you want? Crumpet and tea?”
The Padre stepped in “This is tennis, chaps”. Four of the group volunteered. The watches were hastily distributed after payment for them had been made. Whilst there, I thought that I would inspect the quarters more closely. In the back room on a desk were Comfort Fund Parcels, and articles such as cigarettes, tobacco, toothpaste, writing pads and chewing gum. In the corner there were woollen gloves marked “oversized” so that the recipients took “pot luck”.
As I was completing my inspection, another two airmen came into the room and asked “Is there anything doing tonight?” The Padre replied, “Here’s two tickets to an A.T.S. Dance, but remember, leave the morale of English serving women at its present level”. A witty officer reading an Australian newspaper said, “If when you are arranging weddings for Australian airmen can you supply the bride?” Not lost for words Squadron Leader Beyer said, “As a mediator, keeper of the peace, third party, companion, advisory expert, organiser, and the rest of it he was not too bad at all, but as a magician he was out of practice”. So I departed the office of a busy man who acted as Chaplain, Sports Organiser, and Welfare Officer.
Glancing back I noticed the Padre glancing fondly at a photograph of his wife and daughter, and as I left I saw that the welcome sign adorning the wall announced, “Abandon rank all ye who enter here”. Padre Beyer was certainly a remarkable man. In his Sunday sermons he knew what to say to the boys. He was respected as the "Sporting Padre". He had been Captain of the Drouin Football Team in 1934-45, Captain of the Combined Gippsland side in 1935, and at Morwell he was Captain of their team from 1936 to 1938. He captained Ridley College in tennis in 1931. In cricket he was Captain of the Morwell team for four years and was Captain of the Country Week Team. He led them against an M.C.C. team in 1940. During the war he saw service in France, Holland and Belgium, serving overseas from 1943 to 1945.”
(Editor’s note: Our February 2003 Odds ‘n Ends has a photo of Dave Beyer in a Bairnsdale footy team in 1925; click HERE to see it. Our February 2004 issue has a review of Frank’s book, which Odd Bod Harry Stack recommends as a good read! click HERE to read it. Frank was a W/AG with 550 and 150 Squadrons, and survived 38 ops in Bomber Command)